Faith and forgiveness: Part IV – Understanding

Sin is so pervasive in our lives that many times we’re unaware we’ve even committed an offense. We overlook the still small voice in favor of the demands for satisifaction coming from our pride and our lust. Knowing this we should not assume that others are aware when something they’ve done has offended us. The scripture makes if very plain that if we are at odds with a brother then we are to go to him in meekness seeking reconciliation, not restitution.

In Matthew 7 Jesus was recorded as stating that before we could approach a brother concerning an offense we must first examine ourselves. He accused those that failed to do so of being hypocrites and made a comparison between a mote, or small twig and a beam or a log used for structural support, that clearly illustrates this situation. It is much more a grievous offense to fail to have the proper attitude in approaching our brother than it is for him to have offended us through neglect, carelessness or even intent. When we fail to fully resolve our feelings toward our brother we most often will ask him to do the impossible and then blame him when he is unable to accomplish it! It is also quite common to be approached by others who demand you seek their forgiveness for an offense you never even committed! An essential element of forgiving is understanding and there are three basic levels of understanding needed to resolve an offense and restore fellowship between believers. The beam analogy represents the first level of understanding, that of understanding our self (see here and here).

The second level of understanding involves a determined effort to place ourselves in the situation of the person who we believe has offended us. Many people find this most difficult to accomplish because they fail in their effort to first understand themselves. If we are honest with our self we can easily see the times when we were the offending party and how easy it was to commit the offense. We should also consider how desperate we felt to realize the depth of the trauma our actions had caused. Lastly we should remember the great burden that was lifted when our brother forgave us and our fellowship was restored in love. If we are unable to empathize, or at least sympathize with our brother then most likely the beam still remains and we should go back and reconsider our attitude again. We must understand that we cannot be selctive in our application of the Golden Rule.

The third level of understanding is the most critical. It is impossible to truly forgive others if we fail to reach this level of understanding. We must understand that the power, ability and even the act of doing any work of faith is centered in Jesus Christ. All forgiveness, as well as all judgment is centered in Jesus. If we are to truly forgive another we must view that person through Jesus just as God would see us, in desperate need of forgiveness whether we realize it or not. We must understand we are no better than our Lord and humble ourselves and sacrifice our pride and our lust for vengeance to God, and follow Christ loving example. We must understand that our hurt will only be resolved in His great love when we bring every vengeful thought captive to Him. No matter how often the offense comes to mind we must choose rather to remember His great affliction and suffering on our behalf.