Were you aware of this?

I suppose self-awareness is one of my weakest points. When I look around it seems that I’m not alone in this. What does it mean for me to be “aware” of myself?

Self awareness simply put means self-judgment. While the world would equate this to an awareness of their mental state I must be aware of my spiritual state. So often I am completely absorbed with my own feelings or, more often, my own understanding and I fail to have a clear perspective of myself, my attitude and, consequently, my actions. While the world around me might consider how they can satisfy their desires I must focus my attention on how I might please God. This does not preclude me from accepting responsibility for my own happiness, it rather helps me to focus on the only way I, or I suspect anyone, can be truly happy.

I know my understanding and my feelings both have their place in my life but for me there should be much more that guides my decisions and determines my attitude. Regardless of how I feel or what I think I act on what I believe. The methods I use to determine what is true are often clouded by the sin in my life. If I have a tendency to blame others I will surly determine to believe that I are not responsible for my decisions and my own actions. Am I aware of this? I mean really am I aware every moment that God holds me accountable for my decisions? What about that nagging ache in the back of my mind and the fear that swells up in my heart? What about that still small voice in my mind that quietly says, “this isn’t love, this is cruel and selfish”. And what of those times when my heart is so heavy and burdened for another and still I turn away to pursue some temporal pleasure or yell with my reasoning and drown the voice completely. I must commit myself to constantly try the spirit in me and be certain of who I am following, myself or my Lord.