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About Kc



    "You are really cool you are married to an European!! How cooler can you be??"
    Fisherman Pecheur

    "Smarty Pants"
    Mad Matt

    "Oh, you did not ask for Bonhoeffer's opinion did you? You wanted mine..."
    the SOFYST

    "You are like the master at this "feelings" stuff!
    Kind Kristi

    "I enjoy your comments, but they are always delightfully enigmatic"
    Dyspraxic Fundamentalist

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Looking for Sameness

I appreciate the comments on my previous post and I wonder if anyone else noticed a pattern in the responses. It seems that once a physiological distinction is found between two people, for instance one being a man and one being a woman that we begin to look for behavioral distinctions that set them apart as well. If we are able to identify any differences we automatically assign the reason for these behavioral differences to the physical distinction when, in truth, these differences are more likely the result of differing values.

On the other hand we might observe two children, child “A” who is well behaved and another, child “B” who “seems” disruptive or disrespectful. Our determination on each child is usually based on our own values yet rather than question the values of all involved we usually assign a “reason” for child B’s misbehavior that has nothing to do with values. Instead we look for a physical difference that we can blame for their behavior. If we find one then we are exempt from the arduous task of teaching the child the reason why their behavior is offensive. We need only condemn them and punish or shame them into submission.

Isn’t that what we do with everyone when they differ with us? I wonder what would happen if at the point where we differ we would stop and look for similarities rather than finding more differences. Is it possible that we could then clearly see the real distinction between them and us and better resolve the differences? What if we consider the way God sees us? What distinctions would He find between us?



Blogger Rose~ said...

Great thoughts, kc. Looking for similarities is the way to go. You have brought up a very interesting discussion. I look forward to reading others' comments.

1/19/2006 08:05:00 AM  
Blogger Kc said...

Thanks Rose. I'm thinking that all prejudice begins by assigning blame for offensive behavior to a physiological distinction instead of a difference in value and beliefs.

1/19/2006 09:20:00 AM  
Blogger Kristi said...

All of this is SO key to all interpersonal relationships.

What you said is so true about the children. And where do they get their values from? Well, these days, the parents don't work very hard to instill worthwhile values, so the get them from the TV, movies, video games, etc. And then we wonder why kids seem to be more and more disruptive and poorly behaved.

I love that line about prejudice in your comment above. I'm gonna have to use that with a few people I know!!!

1/19/2006 10:22:00 AM  
Blogger Dyspraxic Fundamentalist said...

Interesting thoughts.

1/19/2006 11:32:00 AM  
Blogger dorsey said...

Get "Exclusion and Embrace" by Miroslav Volf. There's more about this concept of sameness and reconciling "otherness" in just the introduction than anything I've read.

1/19/2006 07:19:00 PM  
Blogger Kc said...

Dorsey you da man! I hate having to admit this but I seldom read anything outside scripture. I guess there are huge drawbacks to being an automath but the upswing is that once the lesson is learned, the lesson is learned. ;-)

1/19/2006 08:55:00 PM  
Blogger Jayne said...

This is way over my head this late at night. I'll comment in the morning after I have coffee!! Otherwise my emotions may get the best of me! :)

1/19/2006 11:05:00 PM  
Blogger H K Flynn said...

Hi Casey :)

Interesting observations :)

Isn't looking for differences they way our brain has to work to cope with our environment? Otherwise we'd get lost in our observations and never get things accomplished with the time God gives us.

But when we apply that to relating to one another it can become a trap! :)

1/20/2006 11:33:00 AM  
Blogger audrey` said...

This is a very good post, Casey :)
Well done!
Every child is special and unique. They are created by God for a purpose.
Through God's help, we just need to accept them as they are. Love them unconditionally. Guide them to the right path. Above all, pray for each child who comes along our way.

1/21/2006 02:49:00 AM  
Blogger Kc said...

Jayne I will accept tired but the only way this is over your head is if I'm not clear, which is often the case. ;-)

Jodi, thanks so much for the visit. Excellent point! We do relate with everything by contrast so it's easy to, as you say, fall into that trap.

Audrey Amen. Wise words from a sweet spirit. ;-)

1/21/2006 01:54:00 PM  
Blogger Joe said...

In the original score to the musical, "South Pacific," there is a song that says, "You have to be taught to be afraid, of people whose eyes are odly made, of people whose skin is a different shade. You have to be carefully taught. You have to be taught before its too late, before you are six or seven or eight, to hate all the people your relatives hate. You have to be carefully taught. You have to be taught to hate and fear. You have to be taught from year to year. It has to be drummed in your dear little ear, you have to be careefully taught."

1/21/2006 07:10:00 PM  
Blogger Jayne said...

Ok, I guess morning came and went and so did the coffee!

If I pass judgement on someone, then I see all kinds of differences because I think they should be/act a certain way.

However, if I ask God to bless that same person, I see no difference, because they, like me, is one of God's.

1/21/2006 10:49:00 PM  
Blogger Kitty Cheng said...

great thoughts and questions! I think even though there are differences between people, we can still accept them and learn from them.

1/22/2006 12:22:00 AM  
Blogger audrey` said...

Yes, Kitty is correct.
Everyone is different. So, we can learn from one another.
Some children are just more lovable and teachable. We tend to accept them easily.
But we must love those who are otherwise. It's them who need to be loved more.

1/22/2006 04:20:00 AM  
Blogger curious servant said...

We especially want to think about how right we are, and we love to associate with those who corroborate that view.

The thing we probably have most in common is how wrong we are.

We so love to puff ourselves up. I am very guilty of it.

Ah well... He loves me anyway.

1/22/2006 06:42:00 PM  
Blogger Kc said...

Wise words all. I hope to follow up on these thoughts with some thoughts on prejudice and discimination.

1/23/2006 02:41:00 AM  
Blogger M. C. Pearson said...

Ah the wonders of diversity and the glories of it too! I also love that no matter how different we are, we can be one in Christ.

1/24/2006 03:13:00 PM  

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