Time Out

Just so you’ll know what I’m confronted with on a daily basis I had to post this recent exchange between my darling wife and Brother Ron (rrbj).

Ron:
Ya'll are tortureing me with all them chocolates and snacks and talking about pecan pies ? I gained 5lbs, and my sugar level jumped 30 points just thinking about it ? Corry I got a good recipe for pecan pie using mayhaw jelly instead of syrup. I make the jelly using splender sugar and then I'm able to eat a couple of slices of pie? Blessings Ron.

Corry:
Ron,
Sorry! We will start talking about castor-oil, rotten bananas and molded food. hehe.

Thanks for the tip. I have no idea what mayhaw-jelly is, but the fact that you make it with splenda sounds good to me. Less fattening! :-D
So, what is mayhaw?

Audrey...did you hear that? Less kg's!!! hehe.

Many blessings to you, brother.

God's Grace.

“We will start talking about castor-oil, rotten bananas and molded food.”

Brother Ron, this is no idle threat! Please explain before she makes good on her promise! ;-)

Time Out

Lesser gods

Having been ejected from “Surfdom” I decided to set out on a journey to discover why this misfortune had befallen me and perhaps to recover what rightfully had been mine. I knew that my answers could only come from those most high keepers of the Web, Tech Support, but I also knew that in my quest for truth I would have to prove myself worthy of any and all discourse with such important persons as these. Patiently I proved myself as their minions tested my ability and understanding in an attempt to prove me silly or stupid thereby sparing the exalted ones of the task. There were a few close calls where, had I been left to their subjection, I would have found place in such class but I persevered and pressed my point until finally on day two I found myself voice to voice with the Most Exalted Grand Wizard of the Technical Support Staff. He listened quietly as once more I related all I had seen and done both prior to and after my fall from their favor. Once again I was called on to prove my worthiness to surf in his kingdom and he tried me on all points. I tried this, I tried that, and I booted and was booted. I was even made privileged to see things no mortal surfer had ever seen but still my answer eluded me. Was all this for naught? Was this to be my fate? My heart sank at the prospect of returning to those lesser means of access than that which I considered myself worthy of. Even now his words burn in my ears as I recall his final judgment on my person, my system and even me.

“You’ve probably got a problem with your modem. We can send a repair person to check it or send you a new one.” How could this be? Had my own system turned itself against me leaving me less than a blogger, nay even less than a surfer? I retraced my journey examining every step I had taken and, though knowing my place, the flames of indignation burned bright within my heart. Was it pride than fanned these flames or was my vision clear in all of this? Could it really be that once the curtain is drawn and the light shines within that those most exalted ones are only mere mortals as you and I and prone to such foolishness as blame? My world began to crumble about me. “I don’t think that’s the problem. If it were then…” I pleaded. Please let this be only a flaw, and the only flaw, to be found in such a wise one as this. “I’m afraid we’ll have to send…” he continued and slowly I relented. I was tired. I was beaten. He must be right, after all, who was I to question him? Perhaps I had missed something. Yes, that was it. There’s something unknown to me and in his glory and wisdom he’s lead me to my need for their services.

I waited for the repairman as a condemned man waits for the executioner. In my mind the repair bill kept growing but I knew I would pay. I would pay anything to rejoin my fellow bloggers and friends. No price, no sacrifice was too great. The minutes ticked by and my anxiety reached epic proportions. The appointed hour came and went with not so much as a call explaining why I had waited without hope. In silent desperation I decided to make one last attempt to run freely the fruited fields of the blogsphere and then to woefully accept my fate as a castaway. I clicked the little blue “E” like I had done so many times before, taking for granted that it would always be there to fling open my electronic window on the world. My heart jumped in my chest as one by one the images began to appear. I thought for a moment that I must be dreaming then it hit me this could be a mere cache of days gone by, only a ghost of what once was but would never be again. I clicked the refresh button and my despair turned to joy as once more the page fully appeared. All of this without even a visit! No calls! Not even a configuration change and best of all, no charges!

It seems, upon reflection, that when all is said and done that we’re all at the mercy of those with more knowledge and power than ourselves. Even the guru’s of Tech support are subject to the higher powers that manage ebb and flow of the Web. I still click the blue “E” with anticipation but these days I’m not as assuming as before. My confidence in those I once trusted with all my electronic existence has been replaced with a healthy skepticism in all. I will never again subject myself to their determinations against my better judgment.

;-)

Proving a point

The previous article on controversy found it’s way to the number one spot at Yahoo for all searching “Just so you know”. Take a look at the snippet they’ve posted and see if you can determine why this article floated to the top. MSN closely agreed and placed it number 7 on their list but it seems Google is much more discriminating.

The best for last

There’s so much more to come, I’m sure, but for now I can’t even begin to describe how this one little person is impacting my life. May God bless him to be raised in the way he should go. To Him be the glory in all things.

Why do you believe...?

I’ve tried to be patient and respectful toward others who hold to an understanding that differs from my own. I’ve attempted to reason with them without dispute, enduring insult upon insult to no avail. I’ve listened to their impassioned cries to silence me at all cost without so much as a rebuttal and awaited the verdict of many at many times but no more. Those days are gone.

These intellectual elitists sit in their ivory towers spewing forth decrees and determinations against us all but can never be found where any real work is taking place. They all have their “Jobs” but that has nothing to do with work! They intentionally proselyte the young and unlearned first by isolating them in so-called “school systems” and then indoctrinating them so deeply that some never recover even after years of being confronted with reality. This cannot continue!

They hold tightly to one another, thinking themselves the chosen few, and never break ranks to allow for any reasonable discussion. Only “they” know what’s best and only “they” ever will but they see it their duty to proclaim our ignorance and force us to concede to their superior knowledge and wisdom. Don’t bother to offer them any practical understanding or they will only yell louder and louder their heretical rhetoric in their attempts to drown out the voice of reason.

I can no longer consider these people as part of us. Not all of us are users! Account for yourself now or forever be silent!

Why oh why do you believe that ANYONE should ever use a Mac????!!!!!

Time out...

Join the fight!

Sunday is National turn off your cell phone day. Spread the word! Let your voice be heard! Help us reclaim the peace!

HT for Sign generator to Danny Kaye with inspirational message from Gordon. ;-)

Time out...

Compliments of my better half, enjoy. ;-)

Demerging, HEAD-FIRST, came one for truth. A Jedi Christian, who's life's journey led him from Rivendell to ShadowMage's Domain.
His Contemplative Thoughts were not Running From God but Finding Direction from Freezing Cold Theology to Verses of Passion and Devotions and Ideas to be unashamed of Grace and to have a Devoted Life.
As he walked along, Kicking The Gourd, he thought how marvellous a meal at Kristi's Korner would be before laying Down for a Nap.
Being one of the Hungry 6, he couldn't stand this Heavenly Heartburn much longer and entered The Protestant Pub, where he found himself a spot in the Socratic Corner. He observed that Jayne's Journey had ended here as well and that she was heavily involved in one of Nan's Rants.
While reading Joe's Jottings on the menu-list, a Peregrine Sojo approached him with the question: "Do you speak Southern?"
In reference to a sinking ship, he felt like his Adventures of an Ordinary Christian were about to end like the Crushed Leviathan, for the tone of voice came across like one of The Earnest Contender with a Dyspraxic Fundamentalist Worldview.
Not being a Hero Bill, he stuck his finger between his blue collar and his throat as cold sweat broke out.
"Okie-Dokies", he thought to himself. " This is a Faith Classics. Since I am one of The First Hundred who have been Experiencing Rheumatoid Arthritis. I can do this too! Cinder Tales won't work here, but as True Servants (as Denny Burk always used to quote), I should be able to come up with some bLOGOS in order to Emerge and Restore".
He tried to think of some Free Grace Theology but not1jot came to JP's mind. Then one of Rose's Reasonings popped up and he quickly wrote it down on a napkin and handed it to him. He had noticed Jowiki do this, with positive results.
After having read it, the Sojo smiled and said: " So Let It Be Written-So Let It Be Done". and as he turned and walked away, he proclaimed: "HE KNOWS !"

And... just so you'll know...the word on the napkin was "evoL". :-)

Click here to read Corry's story.

Time Out...

Are you old enough to remember watching this picture in black and white while you were eating your cereal and waiting for cartoons to start? ;-)

Picture found at Ramble On

Time Out

If your Church issues a weekly bulletin be sure you have a good editor! According to Corry's blogger buddy, Pat, "these sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services".

~ The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

~ The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight "Searching for Jesus."

~ Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

~ Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

~ The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

~ Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

~ Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

~ Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

~ For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

~ Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

~ Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

~ The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth Into Joy."

~ Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

~ A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

~ At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

~ Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

~ Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

~ Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

~ The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

~ Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

~ The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

~ This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

~ Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

~ The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

~ Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

~ The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

~ Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

I wonder if there's a similar list somewhere for bloggers. (Thanks Pat!) ;-)

Time out...

...for a much needed camping trip! We leave this afternoon for an overnighter. We're trying out some new gear and if God allows we plan to go every weekend this month. That may be a pipe dream but we'll see.

Here are some pictures of where we'll be camping, hiking and fishing. Wanna go? ;-)

Update: This trip was cancelled in order to be available to our youngest so anyone still wishing to go can sign up now for next weekend!

Time out

I’ve always loved being in the woods and especially so in the fall and winter. When I was young I would spend several days camping alone. I would find a remote spot near a creek or a lake where I wouldn’t be bothered by anyone or anything and spend the days hiking and fishing. At night I would stare at the sky and wonder what the future would hold.

When my oldest daughter was born I was certain I would miss the woods and for several years I gave up the time I spent there. As my daughter grew older we would go out for picnics and she loved to explore any and every trail we might find. We blazed quite a few of our own. Finally the time came that I thought she was ready so I took her for her first camping trip. She loved every minute of daylight as always but when the evening approached the sounds from the woods began to crawl up her spine and I watched her grow silent, listening, her eyes growing ever wider. She stayed very close from dusk until dawn and sleep was only something we said we should do. No subject was to hard for her that night as long as it kept me awake and together we measured the universe.

Breakfast came before dawn and by the time the sun was full her eyes could hardly stay open. I packed up our things and loaded the car and we made the trip back home in silence. I expected her to sleep but she just sat staring, not looking, just thinking. I could see she was soaking it in. We pulled up to our drive and she collected her self, then looked over at me and smiled. I turned off the car and her little arms reached around my neck. She said “Thank you Daddy. I really like camping but I’d never want to go without you”. I realized it then and I told her so too, “sweetheart I’d never want to go without you either”.

That was many years ago and though we’ve each made a few trips without the other we’ve proved we were honest in what we’d said that day. My little sweetheart is 25 now and I’m not Daddy anymore, just Dad, but there’s a chill in the air and her question today is the same one she’s had since that first night in the woods, “Dad, when are we going camping again” ?

Time out...

A few months ago I commented on the site of a brilliant theologian in response to an article on denominations:

“I consider myself to be a Mainline Epistolic Searching Sojourner (MESS)”

He received the joke well and I considered myself rather sharp witted for having created such an amusing acronym. In the progression of time the opportunity to exhibit my creative genious presented itself once more. I dutifly rose to the occasion only this time it was with my friend who has known me his whole life.

“I think I’m more a dispensationalist than a Calvinist and while I still maintain my Armenian beliefs I firmly hold to my pluralist convictions though they give way to my fundamental tendency which is often tempered by my liberal view point. Hmmmm. I guess I’m still a mainstream epistolic-searching sojourner (MESS)”

Being the true and caring friend I’ve always known him to be he lovingly replied:

“Are there any contradictions in being a Calvinist and dispensationalist? Ryrie himself is definitely in the Reformed crowd (and I do not have anything against him, I've met him personally several times and chatted with him).

In maintaining your Armenian beliefs, how far do you take his view on falling from grace? He said he did not know if a person could fall from grace, but he thought they could.

While holding to Armenian beliefs, I am assuming you mean we all make a choice to whether we will become a Christian or not, then how you "hold to your pluralist" convictions? Even Arminus (wonderful things do come from the Netherlands) was an exclusivist in terms of salvation. A pluralist does not hold to the exclusivity of Jesus for salvation. Next, pluralism gives way to the fundamentals, which diametrically oppose pluralism and is not compatible with liberalim of any sort.

Mainstream? Hmmm. If you are reading the Trail of Blood you are definitely not mainstream. And a mainstream knowledge seeker traveling through? I'll buy the sojourner part, but I am skeptical of the MES part.

So, now I have reduced you down to an S. =) It's been fun and I understand what you are saying. I'm just picking you to death, but through this little exercise I am assuming you would like to be identified as one still searching. I guess we all are in that stance (although I have to reject anything beginning with liberalism or pluralism)”

An education is a wonderful thing….until your friend gets one. ;-)